Three Common Mistakes Churches Make in Ministering to Men

Men are the most neglected people group in our churches today. To emphasize this, I recently saw a video a church made to highlight the ministries of the church. The video was professionally done and was in fact pleasant to watch. But then I notice the video was highlighting the various ministries of the church. The video talked about the children’s ministries, the youth ministries, the college ministries, small groups, mssion opportunities, and a few other areas the church was involed. But I noticed the video did not mentioned the Ministry to Men or Women. I surmised from the video this active church did not have a ministry to women or men. Therefore I reasoned that men are not valued or important to that church.

Did you know that less thant 10% of churches in the United States have an active and effective ministry to men. Most churches associate men’s ministry around a monthly breakfast or supper gathering. Spending some time in fellowship and eating. Nothing wrong with that and it would be encouraged. Or maybe the church has a monthly work day for the men to help someone in need. Nothing wrong with that. But ministrering to men is much more than getting together to fellowship, eat, and do a few work projects.

Leaders often conduct the same event each year that will only reach a certain group of men in their church and community. Why? Generally it is because it is what they enjoy doing. It is easy. We have done it before. And the biggest misconception, “I enjoy it – so all men must enjoy it.”

So how do we move toward having an active and effective Ministry to Men? Over the course of the next few posts I will share the Three Common Mistakes Churches Make when it comes to ministering to men.

Let me know what you think as I expand on these mistakes. Maybe give some insight of your own,

Together is the challenge and adventure to disciple men. – Mike

The Magnolia Tree

I know most people do not like Magnolia Trees because they can make a mess with their big, hard-to-rake-up leaves. But Magnolia Trees have always had a special place in my heart.

My wife and children understand this to the point they gave me a Magnolia Tree sampling to plant in our front year back in 2008. The year after, I went through my cancer battle resulting in the loss of a kidney.

My love for Magnolia Trees spurns from my days as a young boy when there was a mature tree probably a hundred years old in my neighborhood. I really do not know how old. As a kid, anything over twenty was old. But this tree was at least several decades old.

It was large enough that me and my friends would climb the tree and sit in its massive branches. Like a strong man’s arms holding us on his shoulders, gently cradling us so we could look around and see all around the neighborhood. We could sit there and virtually hide as we watched others walk below, never knowing we were just a few feet above their heads. We could have jumped from the tree and landed on their shoulders before they knew we were there.

Its massive canopy covered us above from the beating sun. Rain had a hard time getting through to wet us as the branches and leaves above were so thick. We could sit there for hours, it seemed, never concerned about falling. Moving from branch to branch like monkeys in the wilds of the jungle. The mammoth branches gather us like a grandfather hugging his grandchildren. Feeling his strength, love, and comfort in knowing you were protected from unknown forces we were unaware of at that age. 

The tree itself with roots reaching far from the trunk. Like strong fingers digging into the ground, shifting it, grabbing it. Reaching deep to hold secure from the winds. While other trees bend and sway in the strong hurricane winds of North Carolina, the Magnolia Tree stood the test of time, holding firm, never wavering, never bending to the whim of pressure. 

The tree is a symbol of my youth when I had no cares in the world when nothing could harm me. When nothing could persuade me, there was evil in the world looking for a chance to prance like a roaring lion to devour my very being. Standing strong and tall, magnificence in all its glory. Never to allow harm to those who hide in its giant branches.

Oh, I long for those days again. To climb into the branches of that magnolia tree. To sit and watch the world as it goes by. Never concerned about tomorrow. Only enjoying the moment of security and peace, I felt years ago.

Though today I cannot climb in the branches of a Magnolia Tree, and the tree planted in my yard in 2008 is now 30 feet tall, the branches are not strong enough to support me or hide me from the world.

Today, I climb into the arms of Jesus. He gives me that security and peace I long for and felt as a child. His foundation is strong; His protection covers me like the canopy of the magnolia. I rest secure in knowing that He will protect me from those unknown forces. He is the branch that supports me.

The Word of God is the foundation – the Rock – that I need, to keep me from being swayed. Like the roots of that childhood magnolia digging deep into the ground, the Word of God digs deep into my soul, and I find solace.

The Word of God quenches my thirst like a cool brook. Providing refreshing words of comfort as I rest, knowing that God has me in the palm of His hand.

And the Word of God covers me like the canopy of that magnificent Magnolia Tree with His Grace and Mercy, protecting me from the attacks of this world.

Thus comes the saying my friend and mentor Jeff Kisiah use to say to all his men after spent time praying over them. He would end his prayers with,

“I pray God will give you a rock to stand on, a brook to drink from, and a tree to shade you.”

His influence has resulted in me picking up this quote and saying it over those I pray with.

Where are you today in your spiritual walk? Are you standing on the Rock? Are you drinking the cool water of God’s Word? Are you resting under the canopy of God’s grace and mercy?

If not, I encourage you today to make the decision to follow Jesus. If you have turned your back on God, I encourage you to repent and return to the Lord.

I would like to hear about your decision.

To the challenge and adventure to disciple men.

• – Mike

God Bless.

Do Not Forfeit Father’s Day

Every year I remind church leaders not to forfeit Father’s Day. Because of this, I want to ask Men’s Ministry Leaders and Pastors this question, “What are you planning to do to target your men on Father’s Day?” I know not all men are Dads, but a good number are. And all of us have Dads.  

Father’s Day is a great day to reach out to all the men of the church and community. So, I have a statement for you – Do Not Forfeit Father’s Day! It is a great time to target men intentionally. They will be expecting something.

As a Men’s Ministry Leader, I believe this day is a great day to target our men, and we should take advantage of the day.  

To give you a little history about Father’s Day, it began when Sonora Smart Dodd in Spokane, Washington, who were one of six children raised by a widower, had the idea of having a day to celebrate our Fathers while sitting in church on Mother’s Day. She went to local churches, the YMCA, and others to gather support for her idea. As a result, on June 19, 1910, Washington State celebrated the nation’s first statewide Father’s Day. Though Father’s Day has become a commercial entity in today’s culture, it does have its roots in the church.

We can bring the original idea of Father’s Day back into the church as we honor our Fathers, reaching out to the men of our church and community. But to do so, we need to start planning now.

When I was a Men’s Ministry Leader in a local church several years ago, we gave books to ALL the men who came on campus that day. It was a book for all men, not just for dads. We also invited the men to attend a six-week book study that would begin a couple of weeks after Father’s Day. We had over 30 men take advantage of that opportunity. As a result, we had several success stories from that book giveaway and study. 

One man took the book to work and met with some of his coworkers to work through the book. Great things came out of that experience. And, after finishing the book, the men wanted more.

This is just one activity you can do to reach your men through Father’s Day. But there are others, and here are some thoughts on some actions you can take. It is my hope this will whet your appetite for more. As you ponder on these, maybe you can visualize other activities your church can do.

1. If the morning message is tailored for Father’s Day, be sure it targets ALL the men encouraging them to be the men God designed them to be. This is one most churches do. But be sure you talk to ALL the men and be careful of isolating a particular group. But to be honest, I would recommend not doing a message that calls out dads. However, there is nothing wrong with spending a few minutes communicating gratitude and thankfulness for dads being dads.
2. Have a Father/Son/Daughter outing sometime during the weekend. Men whose children are grown or men who do not have children could adopt a fatherless child for this event. This way, you are inviting all men to participate. If you have a military contingent in your area. Think about the children whose dads are deployed during this time.
3. Reach out to those men in your church and community in the military who are deployed. Find out from their families what they would like to have and see if you can make it happen.
4. Give the men a book that will encourage the men and offer a class relating to the book.
5. Arrange an outing to a sporting event all men can participate. Or maybe a sports watch night in the fellowship hall or someone’s house on a big screen TV.  

Here are some additional suggestions that may not be associated with Father’s Day weekend but can be done in conjunction with;

• Reach out to Dads whose children are attending your local church’s VBS. Maybe provide a gift certificate to a local restaurant or sports event or Fair they can take their child to. Or maybe a father/child Hot Dog dinner.
• If your church has a summer daycare ministry, think on the same lines for the men whose children are involved.
• Think about the Dads whose children are involved in the youth ministry or other children’s ministry activities.

These are just a few of the ideas a church can do to reach out and target men. If we desire to reach our men, we have to be intentional in our efforts. Look around your church, and you may see many other opportunities to reach your men.

So, ‘What are you doing to intentionally target your men during Father’s Day weekend?’  Intentionality is one of the areas most Men’s Ministries lack in their quest to reach men for the kingdom of Christ. If you want to reach more men and get them involved, you must be intentional in your efforts. 

Just remember, on Father’s Day, don’t make it all about fathers but develop opportunities for ALL MEN!

To the challenge and adventure to disciple men – Mike